To be completely honest, I haven’t written a blog in so long because my riding it pretty much non-existent right now.
In fact, I cannot remember the last time I was riding this little.
I never really understood when people would say, “there are not enough hours in the day” because I seemed to be able to fit in everything without a problem, and the horses definitely took up the majority of my time, but now…..I completely get it.
Never in my 15 years of riding had I ever wanted to throw in the towel and call it a day, wanted to skip lessons or not go out for cross country training. I had never wanted to not get in my jodhpurs on a 40 degree day, or not head to a competition because it was bucketing down with rain.
And it was only because I was completely oblivious to what the real world was like. I am extremely fortunate to have two very supportive parents, who have supported my riding since a very young age, but I am not so fortunate in the aspect that I am nowhere near talented enough to make riding my career, and my envy and respect for those who are able to do it is indescribable.
In December 2014 I did my last competition for the season, and then started a new full time job, in fact my first real full time job, 8-6pm Monday – Saturday and sometimes the even the occasional Sunday.
At first I was totally motivated to make it all work, even though I was told that I would have to make sacrifices in the area that made up so much of my life and who I am.
And so it began, 10 hour days at work, followed by doing what I love most, at first I was finding it easy, knowing at the end of each day I was going to go and do what I enjoyed most, but…. we are only human, and unfortunately it all eventually catches up, suddenly I was finding myself more and more tired, and less and less motivated.
Half way during this year I asked my wonderful coach, Robyn if she would help me keep Jett in work, as I was just finding it too much to handle, It was such a huge help and she was doing a great job on him, he even got a couple of extra 1 Star starts, that he wouldn’t have had with me; Robyn was super supportive and understanding of my circumstances, and I cannot thank her enough for what she did for me over those short few months.
But unfortunately, it wasn’t affordable for me to have someone else riding him, despite how well he was going, and I just didn’t have the time, so I came to the heart breaking conclusion that maybe this whole eventing thing just wasn’t meant to be, and I completely accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to be able to do it again, because I had to be an adult and work and earn money, to pay my rent, to pay bills, to put food in my fridge, to have a social life where I could fit it in on top of everything.
So after much thought, I decided it would be best to put Jett on the market, and after dealing with endless enquiries, I decided I couldn’t go through with it, for those close to me and for those who understand the very long and successful journey I have had with Jett, it’s not hard to understand why I decided not to sell him.
One thing I have forgotten over this past year is how old I am, and how much I have to look forward to in life, there is so much more ahead and my job is only one aspect of my life, and I’m not going to sit here and tell you all that it’s been easy, because it’s been really effing hard and emotional.
I believe at this age, you shouldn’t make someone, or something your whole life, because I have realised over this past month that you can have it all, you just can’t have it all at once.
I think throughout this blog, it’s fairly evident to see that I have been missing riding, and competing competitively, so on that note, Jett and I shall be seeing you all at Tonimbuk 2016.
