My first show: do I ride because I love it, or because it's all I've ever known?
20 years of life... and eventing.
My 20th birthday has come and gone and has prompted me to look back what has been my life so far. I like to consider myself someone who appreciates and certainly tries to make the most of every day (generally by trying to cram an obscene number of hours into the 24 of each day).
So, with two decades of life behind me (though to some, I know it doesn't sound like much!), I have had a extended look at myself and assessed: how do I wish to spend the next years of my life? However many of them there will be...
Horses are a full on lifestyle, do I really wish to continue with them? With their incredible highs and astounding lows? Do I go out to ride every day because I truly enjoy it, or just because I've never known any different? Do my horses really make me happy?
Over the past few months, my eventing team and family have been dealt some big cards. We drove home 12 hours from Sydney without a horse finishing, then ended the season scratching from the 3* at Melbourne, as well as a whole lot of other less significant disappointments that all added up to produce a rather disconcerting few months! While there were undoubtedly some ups, the downs seemed to outweigh them, and while I was quite disconsolate about these, I knew they were only "first world problems" and that circumstances could be a lot worse.
I never really expected it to get much worse though so, when mum was diagnosed with breast cancer, it did put an exceedingly large cherry on top of the cake of so-called 'disappointments!'
It's times like these, however, that you learn a lot about yourself, who is really there for you and what you really love. I love my family and I love my horses. I go out to ride every day so that I can feel the thrill of a horse confidently nailing a halt on the centreline or floating along in half pass for the first time.
I do it for the connection I feel with my horses and the way that they take me out of this world. I do it for that grin during the salute at the end of a horses best dressage test or jumping round yet. I do it so that I can heartily give my horses' sweaty neck a pat at the end of the cross country that tells him 'thank you for trying so hard for me.' 'Thank you for giving me your all, for listening to me, and knowing when to ignore me, for being brave, for being so kind and generous and for participating and loving this sport instead of wishing to eat grass in the paddock.'
La Muso jumps a great round to finish on a PB score of 54.5 at the Melbourne International 3DE 2016
I am thankful for what I have and these lows have confirmed that my family, friends and horses are the most important aspects of my life, and I hope that reading this helps you to consider and find the most important aspects of yours.
Find what you love and find who you love, then hold on tight (and heels down) for the short ride that is life.
Molly xx
