STRESSLESS EVENTING - FACT OR FICTION
At this point, I've done just about everything to find my missing GRRRR and would do just about anything to "JUST GET OVER IT!" So when my eventing trainer strongly suggested that I attend the Stressless Riding Clinic given by Eventer/Psychologist/Trainer, Andrea Waldo, MS, ICP, I did not miss a beat when I said ‘Yes, I’ll be there!’
Then you think, well I have read pretty much every self-help book made for mankind and every motivational make-yourself-better-in-these-three-simple-steps program, what could she possibly say or do that I haven't heard before? Surely, we will hear all about visualizing the perfect ride, relax, meditate and use affirmations ... Yada, yada, yada. Now, it's not that I'm a naysayer 'cause I am a believer on all that... but, let me tell you saying ‘I'm good enough, I'm special enough and people like me’ just isn't cutting it. Yet along I went eager for a solution and a desire for a fix.
As the living room filled with riders from CT, NH, ME and MA with a great mix of ages, abilities (elementary - intermediate), perspectives (trainers, riders and instructors) and disciplines (mostly eventers with a sprinkling of equitation/hunters/breed specialist), two very important points surfaced immediately:
We are not alone in this quest!
Eventers are different – ‘Normal’ techniques don't necessarily work for us for really good reasons.
What we do is dangerous - adrenalin (used properly) helps us focus, keeps us sharp and safe
What we do and how we need to prepare changes with each phase
Exercise 1
A guided meditation. Visualize the best moment you ever had with your horse - I searched my mind, hunting - yeah that was awesome, but by her second instruction, it came to me - riding novice cross country at Coursebrook Horse Trials. From the moment we left the start box, we were working together as a team. Each jump in stride, each turn balanced, the gallop effortless and free and the down-bank-bending-line-to-the ramp easy and light. When we flew over the final jump - a big table, I remember thinking that this was heaven... just Sugar and I. I am an eventer - I do belong!
She finished the meditation and said clearly ‘this is why we do it.’ Although I do not know what image came to anyone else, all heads nodded as if we shared the very same.
Special Note - Forgive me Andrea if I screw up what you said. My own interpretations take over a bit and for this, I wanted to capture a few key points that were particularly helpful to me.
Exercise 2
What am I really afraid of? Keep writing things until you get stuck and then ask yourself why am I afraid of that? And keep doing it over and over. The most fascinating thing about this exercise is that almost every single one of us had the same fears and none of us listed pain or getting hurt in the top 10. I would bet that the most common themes were:
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Embarrassment
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"I don't belong"
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Not giving my noble horse a good ride
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Should be better at this – someone else would be doing a better job at this than I’m doing
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Perfectionism
Since I'm exceeding my own personal ‘length of blog’ rules, let me hit on some very key points/strategies:
Visualization - If you can't picture the perfect ride, then picture fixing the problem
So instead of seeing Sugar spook, I should see me correcting the spook and getting over the jump.
Self-Talk - Train yourself to work Self-Talk in your favor. Know your abilities and own them.
Identify negative self-talk and delete the comment and insert what you want to happen.
Encourage yourself the way you would encourage a friend
Live in the Present - If your horse had ditch problem at the last event, ride the horse you have now.
So if you had a bad fall hunting, recognize what happened (slippery ground, no studs), correct it and then live in the present.
Don't tell or listen to war stories (bad falls, missed jumps, mistakes etc) before competing (or ever).
Develop a Performance Self separate from your real self and use it like a costume to put on before you're ready to roll.
Focus - create what you want to do and not what you don't
Use a two point mantra (sit up and kick)
Have a plan and then let it go
Know your food, drink and bodily needs and keep them as soothing support
Help your support team know what you need
Give yourself an Escape Route
Knowing you can stop/withdrawal or retire without shame significantly reduces stress which, ironically, allows you to continue.
Notice what went well
My metaphor for this is in dog training. If you keep beating the dog every time he comes to you... he will eventually just stop trying. So if you do not find something good in what you do, why keep at it.
I write this with oodles of hope and eagerness and, I can not possibly tell you in this one post all of the stuff that Andrea presented. It was good and if you ever get the chance to go to one of Andrea’s clinics, make sure you do.
